我的挚爱

－我只想好好地跟你走－

有时候，我的前方充满蒙雾；有时候，我的心头一片黑暗
当我迷失了自己，又看不清你时，我踌躇了。。。
是否应该继续往前走
一次，一次，两三次，我犹豫过；
两次，三次，四五次，我勇敢地跨过了。
有时候不知道要怎么表达，因为我深怕一不小心会把一切都弄糟了。
你给的爱，我给的爱，用着不同的表达方式，不同的进行式，唯一的共同点就是两种都是真爱，
这点我很确定。
我，努力地改变，努力地向前迈进，
路途中也有许多我不想更改的执著，你有知道多少？
但是午夜时分，我回头想想，也许你真的值得我这么做，所以再一次我试着突破。
我在意的是你对我的承诺，我不是个百分百的偶像剧女子，所以能分清楚现实和虚幻，请不要每一次都把我和那些人归为一谈。
一首歌曲，歌词有着：心痛比快乐更真实，很贴切。
爱你真的很多，我知道你也一样。
会照顾我的人，也会照顾我的心－每次我心摇晃，这句子在我心中回荡。
它是力量，也是心伤。
现在我只想好好爱，好好，好好爱

This time I really touched

A very long time I didnt talk about him in my blog le.Didnt write didnt mean didnt love,it just I didnt write down all my feeling and emotion here.Recently,we both discovered that there are quite lot of different things between I and him.We have different style in something and we share different opinions in many stuffs too.Sometimes,we both will quarrel on small,small thing because most of the I really cerewet,I care that thing very much but he will think that those matters are very normal.and keep repeating those actions.Of course, he cares a lot about my kekurangan, I have tried to change,but I still cant reach that stage.We are unhappy with each other sometimes and I am really really sad during those time,seriously.That is a cycle like what he said.Cycling all the things again and again,sad,happy,angry,fear ,forgive....However,everytime when I see him do so much things for me ,then I will try to think about whether all those things that I hate  ......are really important compared to what he has done for me?I dont know.I just know that at the moment when I sad and angry, I was really feel that those I had mentioned to him I dislike are really crucial for me.One of my friend told me that he can see that I really love him a lot and   deep.Really?......He jimat-jimat only to himself  but to me he is not.He wants me to live heathy,eat nutritious food,worry that I wont eat my meal and many many.I love him.However,does love alone can overcome all those obstacles?He said can.I believe we are really love each other,really love each other too much but only   the way that we love our partner are not same.Love is still there.I hope he will be the one who holds my hand till I am very old.I hope we can.

=)

Energy level keeps dropping these days.Tomorrow,opps,is later I gonna go back hometown to recharge le.Sleep less than 5 hours per day.Hoping there is one day I can lie on somewhere quietly until I fall asleep without talking anything.Starting to envy some of my juniors who can enjoy their relax life and they do not need to have a pack schedule like me.They didnt take 7 subjects like most of us.Gamma year is totally not easy at all.8am class later and I can only sleep for less than 3 hours.Arg..can the time passes slower abit.However,I am waiting for the movie session next week.That's the time I can curi tulang a while.

3.30 AM

Loading....................Recall back

Nowadays,I start to learn for not talking so much in few fields:daily life, FB  and behave or even control myself in some aspects.I feel want to do it but at the end I manage to drag myself back from those actions.Become more mature d?I dont think so but maybe I just dont want to create so many troubles for myself.

My ways of thinking has become different.Dont have any reason.

Readers,I wont use proper English or re-check back whether there is any grammatical error in my blog post so if you all find out that there are flaws exist here,I think just ignore them la.I am too lazy to do the checking job.I just write in the way I like here.

Can I give up BAC ?

Dont know start from when , I feel dont like to burn midnight oil.Reading abit on my BAC subject just now.Seriously I am not interested in this subject at all.Nobody will know,how much I wish I want to give up the chance for re-sit the supplementary paper in this coming final exam.I hate accounting.I hope so much that there will be a person come and tell me that,just forget it for this time and retake it again when the subject is offered again.Haiz.....I really dont like to  memorize thing especially come to the book that I dislike.Of course I am refering it to that subject which need a lot of memorizing skill.An accountant will also be provided by formulas when he/she wants is required to do the calculation ba.I study just for the sake of study,didnt enter my permanent memory at all.Still worrying about would I be able to finish revise and study all the things before finals.Honestly,FBL students really need to study a lot of things.Sometimes a subject can up to 10+ or 10++ chapters and when it comes to final some sucky lecturers still refuse to give us tips.We are reading textbook leh not simply lecture note only.Ask them come and try then only they know the taste!I know complaining wont help anything but at least I could express out my feeling and stress.Again,again,again,I am dreaming of  if I dont need to take BAC again for this sem ,then my life will definitely be so easy.


Nowadays,I feel that it is also good for me to stay outside ep such as rent for a house(room).It makes me feel that time passes more slowly compared to stay in hostel ,maybe my room too crowed d.Hwever,there are few constraints:no transport,everything will be very troublesome;if there is night class then becomes more headache; cant go back to rest in between the time when waiting for the class and lastly security problem.Think,think 1st,who knw nxt year ep gonna chase us out again = =